Baby is the size of a red cabbage this week. He becomes more and more responsive to sound and will be able to hear distinct voices of both me and Michael. Michael has started to read to him, it’s such a lovely bonding opportunity for them both and also so he is familiar to his voice once born. He’s been reading comics, (both big comic/superhero fans) although the choice of comic may need to be discussed as at the moment it’s Green Arrow by DC and we all know he is going to love Marvel more like his mummy!
His kicks have been much stronger. At times it feels like he gets his foot or fist and rolls it across the full length of my stomach. It’s amazing to watch. Although, we still can’t make out which part of his body he is using yet.
I love taking the time to stop and let him wake up to play around in there. I’m normally pretty busy at work and distracted, moving around so my movements rock him to sleep. Once I stop he tends to wake up. I don’t think I could ever get bored watching my belly move, even if it does look like the start of a scene from alien!
My mum lost a baby when she was 26 weeks pregnant. I have always known this. Between my brother and I she lost a little girl that would have been named Emily after her mum. We have talked about it briefly before, but until now, I haven’t really been able to relate, connect or understand what that really meant. Being 26 weeks pregnant and the thought of losing him is unbearable. You have been through so much already during the pregnancy that the love and bond is strong. My mum was told it was down to natural causes and then they took the baby away. I asked her the other day, how she got over it, and she said ‘I don’t think I ever have’ and I get that. Completely. You fall in love with a person you’ve never met, I cant imagine that love goes away even if you never do meet them.
I was at the doctors this week for my glucose tolerance test. It’s a bit of a pain in the arse. You have to fast from 8pm the night before, go to the doctor, have one set of blood tests done, drink a pint of lucozade and then sit in the doctors for 2 hrs before you have to have more bloods taken. However, it’s to measure my body’s ability to use sugar. Basically to test for diabetes. Once I get the results from this though I should finally be able to start putting in firm plans of where and how I deliver this little one!
I woke up the day of the doctors feeling really down. Maybe it was the lack of Yorkshire tea in my system but I woke up questioning who I was and what I was going to stand for once I’d finished work and was a ‘proper’ mummy!
Being a mum brings so much purpose, love and fulfilment, and a new direction. Will I lose my identity though? I love my job, it gets me involved in some amazing projects, working with buyers and designers and I’ll be sad to say goodbye. Even if it’s a for a few months, a year or will I ever go back?! However, it’s also making me think, what else can I be doing? I’ve been spending many hours and days contemplating this week. Those 2 hours in the doctors, I got my notebook and just wrote down ideas, lists and researched my options.
Where do I fit in the blogger/influencer world? How can I have an impact? How can I make my job work with childcare costs especially in London without grandparents nearby? I have some big things still very much unanswered, but actually, as much as I have a wobble, I enjoy the path to discovery and formulating a new life plan!
•I have now developed that ‘pregnancy line’ on my belly. Add this to the sticky out belly button and you have a very sexy stomach right now! I read about the pregnancy line a while ago but nothing appeared and some say some women never get it so thought it’d missed that feature. Well, this week it’s formed. Due to hormones (by the way, when you google most stuff as to why they happen in pregnancy it’s the hormones fault) produced by my growing placentam, it stimulates melanocytes in the skin to produce extra pigment. Either way, its there and I am embracing the belly button and the line proud!
•I now definitely can’t see my bikini line area, which means goodbye shaving accurately or safely I suppose! I’m not about to let things get wild down there and I’ve never been up for waxing so ‘feeling’ my way around with my shaver is the best option I have. Might have to ask Michael for help soon!!
•I’ve had a few restless nights this week. Apparently quite common. Along with some weird dreams. Again, quite common at this stage. Due to the increase in excitement and anxiety it spills over into the night and our dreams.
I invested in a dreamgenii pregnancy pillow a few weeks ago, to help with support and put you in a good position. It’s recommended to sleep on your left with support under the bump and keep legs and knees bent with a pillow between them. Sleeping on your left increases the amount of blood and nutrients that reach the placenta and baby. This pillow also has a back support to prevent you from rolling on to your back. This isn’t a problem for me just yet, as I have a few weeks yet before I shouldn’t be on my back. However, as the pregnancy develops sleeping on your back can cause some problems because of the weight of the uterus pressing on your spine. Basically this pillow encourages the right sleeping position and is recommended by midwives. That’s all I need to know! Oh how I miss sleeping on my stomach though!
•Also, I’m sorry for the very personal detail here but I have to warn any new mums to be about the reality of discharge. I hate saying that word and writing it down makes me pull a funny face but it’s something to be aware of. Due to the increased blood flowing into that area you produce a lot more fluid. All I can say is, wear some kind of protection. Just a pantyliner is fine (at the moment, I’m not at Tena lady stage) because if not, it may feel you’ve wet yourself! Sorry ladies. Good thing is, I seem to have a time of day where I know it may happen so I can be prepared!
I’m now entering my last week of the second trimester. WTF?!? Not knowing your pregnant for 3 months makes this journey go by like the speed of light! I also have had some lovely comments and words this week from friends and followers and I just wanted to say a massive thank you for the encouragement and the reassurance! It honestly means so much to me. Its #TheVery Xx